Type 9 - The Peacemaker

  • Type Nines are gentle, easygoing people who are among the most agreeable of all types. They have a deep desire for inner and outer peace and harmony. They prioritize harmony, empathy, and understanding in their interactions with others. Nines are calm, supportive, patient, and receptive but can become too willing to go along with those around them and neglect their own needs. They are focused on maintaining harmony in their relationships and environment.

  • Key Traits: Principled, purposeful, self-controlled, responsible, honest, detail-oriented
    Challenges: Resentful, rigid, judgmental, perfectionistic, impatient

    • Basic Fear – Being bad, evil, corrupt, defective

    • Distorted Desire / Passion – My anger leads to chronic resentment over imperfection in myself and others.

    • Leaden Rule – I point out evil, corruption and defectiveness in others to avoid feeling it in myself

    • Manipulation Technique – Correct and “improve” others; insist they share my standards

    • Red-Flag Fear – Realizing my ideals are actually wrong or counter-productive

    • Wake-Up Call – Feeling a personal obligation to fix everything and everyone myself

    • Lost Childhood Message – “You are good.”

    • Core Identification & Self-Image – “I am accurate, thorough, diligent and in a position to judge.”

    • Desire: maintain the image of the morally upright judge.

    • Invitation to Abundance – I want to live for a Higher Purpose and trust the larger plan

    • Healing Attitude – “Maybe others are right… maybe I have done all that can be done.”

  • Conflict Avoidance: Nines avoid conflict around themselves and may use substances to avoid or escape situations that might create tension or disharmony.

    Self-Neglect: The tendency to go along with others and neglect their own needs and wants means Nines often accumulate unmet needs that substances might seem to address.

    Inertia and Avoidance: Nines have problems of stubbornness and passivity and may use substances as ways to avoid taking action on difficult problems or decisions.

    Emotional Numbing: The desire to maintain inner peace can lead to emotional numbing, making substances attractive as ways to maintain this disconnected state when feelings become overwhelming.

  • Cognitive Impairment

    Mental fog makes everything feel overwhelming and encourages withdrawal.  Cognitive difficulties support their tendency to avoid demanding situations.

    Memory Problems

    Memory issues reflect Nines’ general disconnection and lack of engagement. Memory problems may feel consistent with their tendency to minimize importance.

    Emotional Dysregulation

    Strong emotions disturb Nines’ inner peace and make them want to return to numbness. Emotional volatility conflicts with their desire for inner tranquility.

    Sleep Disturbances

    Sleep problems disrupt routines and make daily activities more difficult. Sleep issues interfere with their need for predictable, comfortable patterns.

    Motor Coordination Issues

    Coordination problems make daily activities more effortful and annoying. Physical symptoms require more energy and attention than Nines prefer to expend.

    Stress Sensitivity

    Increased stress sensitivity makes Nines want to avoid more situations and withdraw further. Stress reactivity encourages even greater avoidance and disengagement.

  • Phase 1: Return of Denial – Inability to recognize and honestly communicate thoughts/feelings

    • “These worries will probably go away on their own if I don’t make a big deal about them.”

    • “I don’t want to burden anyone with my concerns – things are fine overall.”

    • “If I ignore these feelings, they’ll likely just fade away naturally.”

    Phase 2: Avoidance and Defensive Behavior – Avoiding anything that triggers uncomfortable emotions

    • “My recovery is peaceful and stable – I don’t need to complicate it.”

    • “Other people create drama in recovery that I prefer to avoid.”

    • “As long as I’m not using, everything is fine, and I don’t need to change anything.”

    Phase 3: Crisis Building – Life problems accumulate due to denial and isolation

    • “These problems will probably work themselves out if I just wait.”

    • “I don’t want to make things worse by taking dramatic action.”

    • “Maybe if I just go with the flow, these issues will naturally resolve.”

    Phase 4: Immobilization – Complete inability to initiate action, controlled by circumstances

    • “I can’t make myself care enough about anything to take action.”

    • “If only external pressure would disappear, I could find my motivation.”

    • “I’m stuck in this fog where everything feels equally unimportant and overwhelming.”

    Phase 5: Confusion and Overreaction – Impaired thinking and emotional volatility

    • “All this conflict and pressure is overwhelming, and I just want it to stop.”

    • “I can’t think clearly when everyone wants different things from me.”

    • “People keep pushing me to make decisions when I just want peace.”

    Phase 6: Depression – Severe mood disruption affecting normal functioning

    • “Nothing matters anymore, and I have no energy to care about anything.”

    • “I’m disconnected from everything and everyone.”

    • “Recovery was supposed to bring peace, but I feel more fragmented than ever.”

    Phase 7: Behavioral Loss of Control – Inability to maintain recovery behaviors

    • “All this recovery work is too much effort and conflict.”

    • “I don’t care about participation when it creates pressure and expectations.”

    • “Why should I make changes when staying the same is easier and more peaceful?”

    Phase 8: Recognition of Loss of Control – Denial breaks, awareness of powerlessness emerges

    • “I’m completely fragmented and disconnected from everything.”

    • “Maybe using would help me feel peaceful and whole again.”

    • “I’m lying about being okay when I’m actually numb and empty inside.”

    Phase 9: Option Reduction – Only three perceived options: insanity, suicide, or substance use

    • “I’m overwhelmed with anger at all this pressure and conflict.”

    • “The only options left are madness, suicide, or using to find peace.”

    • “I can’t handle any more recovery demands when I just want to be left alone.”

    Phase 10: Acute Relapse Period – Complete functional breakdown

    • “I can’t cope with anything, and I’m completely overwhelmed by life.”

    • “I’m so emotionally numb that I can’t connect with anything or anyone.”

    • “Maybe using would help me feel peaceful and whole again.”

    Phase 11: Return to Active Addiction – Actual resumption of substance use

    • “I’ll use just a little to reduce the pressure and conflict around recovery.”

    • “If I can use moderately, maybe I can avoid all the intensity of total abstinence.”

    • “This gentle approach to use will help me maintain peace while still working on recovery.”

  • Releases

    • I NOW RELEASE not taking an active interest in my own life.

    • I NOW RELEASE turning away from whatever is unpleasant or difficult.

    • I NOW RELEASE feeling that there is nothing I can do to improve my life.

    • I NOW RELEASE being numb and emotionally unavailable.

    • I NOW RELEASE refusing to see my own aggressions.

    • I NOW RELEASE ignoring problems until they become overwhelming.

    • I NOW RELEASE all dependency and fear of being on my own.

    • I NOW RELEASE all wishful thinking and giving up too soon.

    • I NOW RELEASE neglecting myself and my own legitimate needs.

    • I NOW RELEASE seeking quick, easy solutions to my problems.

    • I NOW RELEASE feeling threatened by significant changes in my life.

    • I NOW RELEASE losing myself in comforting habits and routines.

    • I NOW RELEASE feeling that most things are just too much trouble.

    • I NOW RELEASE all inattentiveness and forgetfulness.

    • I NOW RELEASE going along with others to keep the peace.

    • I NOW RELEASE living through others and not developing myself.

    Affirmations 

    • I NOW AFFIRM that I am confident, strong, and independent.

    • I NOW AFFIRM that I develop my mind and think things through.

    • I NOW AFFIRM that I am awake and alert to the world around me.

    • I NOW AFFIRM that I am proud of myself and my abilities.

    • I NOW AFFIRM that I am steadfast and dependable in difficult times.

    • I NOW AFFIRM that I look deeply into myself without fear.

    • I NOW AFFIRM that I am excited about my future.

    • “Maybe my peace isn’t worth sacrificing my growth. Maybe engaging with discomfort now prevents greater suffering later.”

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