Type 3 - The Achiever

Type Threes are energetic, purposeful individuals who encourage others to achieve great things. They are ambitious, adaptable, and driven by success, knowing that achievement is possible because they’ve accomplished it themselves. Threes communicate with confidence, inspire people to stay motivated and focused, and excel in positioning themselves for success. They are natural leaders who step up, take action, and make things happen.

Key Traits: Ambitious, adaptable, confident, goal-oriented, optimistic, energetic
Challenges: Fear vulnerability, struggle to slow down, may sacrifice authenticity for image

• Basic Fear – I fear being worthless and without inherent value

• Distorted Desire / Passion – I use deceit to live from an image rather than authenticity

• Leaden Rule – I treat others as valueless by arrogance or contempt.

• Manipulation Technique – I impress, outshine and manage perceptions

• Red-Flag Fear – Fearing failure; claims feel empty or fraudulent

• Wake-Up Call – Driving myself for status and attention

• Lost Childhood Message – “You are loved for yourself.”

• Core Identification & Self-Image – “I am successful, efficient, competent.” 

• Desire: Keep admiration flowing

• Invitation to Abundance – Develop myself and be a model for others

• Healing Attitude – “Maybe I don’t have to be the best… maybe others’ opinions aren’t so important.”

Performance-Based Self-Worth: Threes fear falling short and feeling unskilled or unprepared. Their self-worth is entirely tied to achievements, making substances attractive when performance falters or when they need enhancement to maintain their image.

Inability to Process Failure: When ambition is fueled by the need to prove yourself, it can lead to exhaustion, disconnection, and burnout. Substances may seem like solutions to manage the stress of constant performance pressure.

Emotional Disconnection: Threes often close down feelings in order to function, creating emotional numbness that substances might seem to address when feelings become overwhelming.

Image Management: The fear of letting others see struggles means Threes often suffer alone, making substances attractive as private coping mechanisms that don’t threaten their public image.

Cognitive Impairment

Mental cloudiness threatens Threes’ performance and professional image.  Cognitive impairment directly challenges their identity as high-functioning achievers.

Memory Problems

Memory lapses could expose Threes as incompetent in professional or social settings. They view memory issues as potential threats to their carefully maintained image of success.

Emotional Dysregulation

Emotional volatility appears unprofessional and damages their image as composed achievers. Mood swings conflict with their need to appear successful and in control.

Sleep Disturbances

Sleep problems affect both productivity and physical appearance, threatening their success image. Poor sleep undermines their ability to maintain peak performance.

Motor Coordination Issues

Physical awkwardness affects their polished image and performance capabilities.  Coordination problems threaten their reputation for competence and success.

Stress Sensitivity

Being easily overwhelmed shows weakness and affects their performance.  Stress sensitivity contradicts their image as capable and resilient.

Phase 1: Return of Denial – Inability to recognize and honestly communicate thoughts/feelings

• “I’m doing better at recovery better than most people. No need to worry about anything.”

• “These worries are just signs of normal perfectionism, not real problems.”

• “If I admit these concerns, people will doubt how well I’m doing in my recovery.”

Phase 2: Avoidance and Defensive Behavior – Avoiding anything that triggers uncomfortable emotions

• “My recovery success speaks for itself – I don’t need to question it.”

• “I’m achieving recovery goals that others can’t even imagine.”

• “I know myself. I don’t need to dwell on these feelings.”

Phase 3: Crisis Building – Life problems accumulate due to denial and isolation

• “These are just minor obstacles that successful people always overcome.”

• “I can solve these problems faster than anyone expects if I just work harder.”

• “These setbacks are temporary and won’t affect my overall success in recovery.”

Phase 4: Immobilization – Complete inability to initiate action, controlled by circumstances

• “I can’t act until I’m sure my response will make me look competent and successful.”

• “If only the right opportunity would present itself, I could fix everything.”

• “I’m stuck because none of my usual strategies are working anymore.”

Phase 5: Confusion and Overreaction – Impaired thinking and emotional volatility

• “Nothing I do gets the recognition it deserves and it’s making me angry.”

• “I’m upset because people can’t see that what I’m doing is actually working.”

• “Everyone is sabotaging what I’ve worked so hard for and it’s really frustrating.”

Phase 6: Depression – Severe mood disruption affecting normal functioning

• “I’m a complete failure and everyone can see through my pretense of success.”

• “Nothing I accomplish matters because I’m fundamentally worthless.”

• “Recovery was supposed to make me more successful, but I know I’m still a loser.”

Phase 7: Behavioral Loss of Control – Inability to maintain recovery behaviors

• “These recovery activities aren’t helping me accomplish anything meaningful.”

• “I don’t care about looking good in recovery when it’s not advancing my goals.”

• “I’m done with recovery. It isn’t making me successful or respected?”

Phase 8: Recognition of Loss of Control – Denial breaks, awareness of powerlessness emerges

• “I’m a complete fraud and everyone is gonna see me fail.”

• “Maybe I could use a little bit and still maintain my image.”

• “I’m lying about my how well I’m doing when I’m actually falling apart inside.”

Phase 9: Option Reduction – Only three perceived options: insanity, suicide, or substance use

• “I’m enraged that recovery has made me a failure instead of a success.”

• “The only options left are insanity, suicide, or using to escape this shame.”

• “I can’t face anyone in recovery who might see how badly I’ve failed.”

Phase 10: Acute Relapse Period – Complete functional breakdown

• “I can’t maintain my image anymore and everyone can see I’m a failure.”

• “My performance in every area of life is collapsing and I’m humiliated.”

• “Maybe using would help me feel competent and successful again.”

Phase 11: Return to Active Addiction – Actual resumption of substance use

• “I’ll use strategically. I will actually help my image in recovery.”

• “If I can use moderately, I’ll prove I’m more successful than people who can’t use at all.”

• “This controlled use will show everybody that I can manage everything.”

Releases 

• I NOW RELEASE being obsessed by my hostile feelings toward others.

• I NOW RELEASE believing that sabotaging others will make things better for me.

• I NOW RELEASE feeling jealous of others and their good fortune.

• I NOW RELEASE my fear of failing and being humiliated.

• I NOW RELEASE fearing that I am inadequate and will be rejected.

• I NOW RELEASE feeling that I must conceal my mistakes and limitations.

• I NOW RELEASE closing down my feelings in order to function.

• I NOW RELEASE betraying my own integrity to get the admiration of others.

• I NOW RELEASE attempting to misrepresent myself and my abilities.

• I NOW RELEASE the grandiose expectations I have of myself.

• I NOW RELEASE craving constant attention and affirmation.

• I NOW RELEASE using arrogance to compensate for my own insecurity.

• I NOW RELEASE desiring to impress others with my performance.

• I NOW RELEASE concealing myself behind masks.

• I NOW RELEASE comparing myself with others.

• I NOW RELEASE driving myself relentlessly to be the best.

Affirmations 

• I NOW AFFIRM that I have value regardless of my achievements.

• I NOW AFFIRM that I am centered and emotionally available.

• I NOW AFFIRM that I am caring and have a good heart.

• I NOW AFFIRM that I take in the love others give me.

• I NOW AFFIRM that I am responsible to those who look up to me.

• I NOW AFFIRM that I am happy to work for the good of others.

• I NOW AFFIRM that I develop my true talents by accepting who I am.

• I NOW AFFIRM that I delight in the accomplishments and successes of others.

• I NOW AFFIRM that I can reveal my real self without being afraid.

• “Maybe my worth isn’t measured by performance. Maybe being authentic is more valuable than being impressive.”